Noah’s Ark Park!

“Prepare to believe”!  This is the injunction found underneath the Creation Museum’s logo, helpfully reminding us that credulity is more important than fact.  What are we supposed to believe?  That the biblical creation story is literally true and explains everything:

The state-of-the-art 70,000 square foot museum brings the pages of the Bible to life, casting its characters and animals in dynamic form and placing them in familiar settings. Adam and Eve live in the Garden of Eden. Children play and dinosaurs roam near Eden’s Rivers. The serpent coils cunningly in the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil.

By all accounts, the Creation Museum has been a smashing financial success, catering primarily to the forty percent of Americans who believe (along with most Muslims) that God (or Allah) created the world of living creatures within the past ten thousand years, and that Adam and Eve’s family frolicked with dinosaurs.

Leaving aside for a moment the moral conundrum facing Adam and Eve’s children (“Do I really have to sleep with my sister?“), and the fact that most sexually reproducing organisms are incest averse for very good biological reasons, the group behind the museum has announced plans to build a nearby Noah’s ark park, which is expected to draw 1.6 million believers each year:

The Ark Encounter is a one-of-a-kind historically themed attraction. In an entertaining, educational, and immersive way, it presents a number of historical events centered on a full-size, all-wood Ark, which should become the largest timber-frame structure in the USA.

Plans for the attraction include a Walled City, the Tower of Babel, a first-century Middle Eastern village, a journey in history from Abraham to the parting of the Red Sea, a walk-through aviary, a large petting zoo, and so on.

This wonderful looking for-profit park is slated to open in 2014, depending on how fast the faithful donate to make it happen.  You can add to the current total of nearly one million dollars by purchasing a wooden peg for $100, a plank for $1000, or a beam for $5000.  The state of Kentucky is doing its righteous part by providing generous tax breaks.

When all is said and done, families will be able to plan entire vacations around the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter.  In the meantime, they can visit Bedrock City, the historically accurate paleolithic Flintstones theme park in Custer, South Dakota:

Yabba dabba doo and please pass the Brontosaurus ribs!

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